A Reflection on Guilt
The North Star that leads us back to ourselves
Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change. - Gretchen Rubin
Guilt is one of the most excruciatingly painful human experiences. Regardless of one’s faith, religious beliefs, or deity of choice, guilt is accepted as a universal side-effect of the human experience, for which, there is no immunity. It is an emotion that when left unresolved, inhibits the fully-functioning self, and takes command of the entire body, physically and psychologically. When I picture it, I imagine it to be like a rip-roaring fire, growing in mass and ferocity, as it tears right through the green woodland of our psyche; gaining velocity and mass as it reawakens and accumulates a lifetime worth of regret and self-dissatisfaction.
However, in making reference to the above quote from American author Gretchen Rubin, we must give credence to the idea that guilt can inspire proactivity, and act as a compass that leads us back to a state of alignment with our higher selves, and as far as possible from the self-sabotaging ego.
Guilt, when examined through the self-development orientated lens, is the sounding of an internal alarm bell, notifying us of a breach in, or violation of, a standard which we have set for ourselves. Perhaps we have disregarded the emphasis we place on honesty by telling a lie, or deprioritised those closest to us for our work, neglecting the importance we preach when it comes to appreciating family and friends. No measure of excessive wallowing in our wrongdoing or abandonment of our most critical values will alter the past, but instead, we can choose to look upon this guilt as a useful emotion that can help to intercept a cycle of behaviours which are of no service to our wellbeing.
Through his research, eminent neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, explains the evolutionary function of guilt, and the role it has played in the survival of the human race. For example, in the era of tribalism, experiencing feelings of guilt was an indicator that one had behaved in a way that could be perceived as offensive towards another. In order to avoid being cast from the community, one could adjust their actions, accordingly. Guilt was used only as a roadmap to a more fertile living arrangement, where prosperity and harmony had room to grow.
He also writes of the incontestable impact that the angle which we choose to revise past experiences, has on both our present and future. How we have registered and recorded our past and the frame of reference from which we view our present and how we anticipate our future, are in a constant state of interplay.
When left unattended, guilt can corrupt and erode in the same way that rust does iron; working its way into the heart of the metal, until it is destroyed. However, when helped to mature in a more productive manner, guilt is a seed from which a tree of knowledge can grow; one whose fruits include a deeper understanding of our core values, and an evolved sense of self.
Rather than adding it to the arsenal of ammunition that we use on ourselves, let us revisit the emotion anew, allowing guilt to be the little voice that gently reminds us to do better next time.
Aldous Huxley, English author, and mastermind behind ‘A Brave New World’ imparted the message of this article in a far more profound, and succinct manner than I could ever hope to when he said,
‘Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.’
